My husband, Matthew, and I met when we were both freshman in college. We became best friends, eventually started dating, and haven’t been separated since! Matthew is my best friend, the one person in this whole world that I can spend 24/7 with and it’s still not enough time. And when I say 24/7...I really mean it.
We are both self employed and work from home. We spend all day together, working right next to each other. Matthew plays a HUGE role in my business, he second shoots at weddings with me, advises me in the next steps I should take, and puts in so much work behind the scenes to make this happen. So what is it really like working with my husband? Honestly...it’s amazing! I highly recommend it! But there are some things to figure out, I’ll share what’s worked for us.
I’m Not the Boss
Even though I primarily run the business I am not his boss. I think when we put ourselves into the “boss” category, we loose the relationships we have with others (spouse or not). Instead, we are equals in all things. We try to maintain respect in all we do, in every situation.
During stressful moments at weddings respect can be difficult to maintain. I’m more of a high-strung individual, whereas Matthew is more calm (a great balance for any business). Because of this, it is so easy for me to become overpowering...In stressful moments I find I can remind myself to back off by asking “what do you need?”. It puts the needs of Matthew first, it makes me become self aware of how I’m asking. Also in these situations, Matthew has learned it’s okay for him to pont it out so we can shut it down. We don’t let harsh feelings brew. Instead, we communicate so we can move past and not let it become a thorn in our relationship.
I think the most important thing for me to realize is that while Matthew is in my business, he does not have the same passion for it as I do. And that is okay! When Matthew first started working in my business I tried to put this passion on him. But that’s not how it works. It’s totally okay for him to work in the business, but not be as passionate as it. He doesn’t have to love it, and just because he doesn’t love it the same way I do doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it.
Just like in any job, we also have work hours. We try to keep a similar schedule to each other, and when works ends we do our best to turn it off. It’s easy to work all the time when you’re self employed, especially mentally. We do our best to turn it off so we can enjoy our evening.
So many things about communication! So just hang with me on this one.
1. Communicate your schedules. When we’re together all the time it’s easy to assume we’re on the same page. But we still have to discuss our schedules and plan our weeks.
2. If you’re always together you might run out of things to talk about. “How was your day?” Is not a relevant question because I was there for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s important to remember to do things apart still so you do have something to talk about. Luckily Matt and I don’t really have this issue too much, but it’s something to keep in mind.
While I really could spend every second with Matthew, we have to have time apart. Whether that’s working in different rooms, hanging out with friends separately, or whatever it may be. We maintain our self care separately so we can be better together! Hobbies help a lot with this.
Our Relationship Comes First
Above emails, clients, all things business, we put each other first. It’s suprisingly easy to let your spouse fall to the side when you’re an entrepreneur. Be sure to make quality time for each other (working side by side doesn’t count as quality time!), and nurture your relationship.
And that’s it! I love working with my husband, I definitely recommend it. Don’t be afraid to jump into it, but be aware of these things. Every relationship is different, and so is every business. Find what works best for you! Thanks for reading!! 💕💕